For your Maker is your husband,
    the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called. (Isa 54:5)

It was hard to read my "About" page, as it's stood like a pillar for years detailing a 20-year marriage of brokenness and redemption-- how we were led into foster care, how I saw the Father redeeming my life.

Now, my story is punctuated by the harshness of the word divorce.

Everything has shifted.  

It was if I were walking a tight rope for years, and didn't fully recognize the truth.

Since the word divorce has passed my lips, I've wobbled between emotions of fear, shame, unbelief, and despair. 

Finally, I landed upon the resolute rock of Truth.

This new life is hard.

There is beauty. But some days the beauty is choked by the weeds of ugliness.

There is redemption. Yet, many moments our home smells of the stench of hearts strung raw and bloody.

There is joy. But some days the pain shouts louder. 

How in the world did we go from a married couple serving the fatherless- inviting children into our broken home- to severing our marital covenant?

It is messy and complicated.

It is gut-wrenching.

I have no easy answers, other than grace meets me daily, Christ is real, and there is no way to avoid pain. 

In fact, to dive in- to surrender with hands open to the pain- is the hardest choice, but the most beautiful.  

To feel. 

To receive.

So, here I am. Typing a new "About" page, and walking, in faith, into many unknowns.

What truths do I know? I know many, but, most often, I remember these: God is faithful. He rescues. He provides. He sees. 

HE has been, and will always be my husband.

Can I be honest? I truly wanted to erase all my blog posts of my "before," life. 

But, to do that, would erase Chapters of my story.  

My story

Penned by the true Author of my life.

Any posts from 2016 and before, may refer to my ex-husband and our past ministry together. 

My true husband has, and always will be, my God. My Abba.


Kelly Haney Hobbs said...

What an awesome story! Way to step up and tell about your journey :)

Jeremy Carver said...

Beautiful, Melanie! (I just read a bunch of your posts.) The world desperately needs your (our) individualism, talent, love... story. Thank you for sharing yours.
Kudos on the Renewed Vows and the Foster Parenting.
Like you, I spent many years running from the Father... When I stopped and turned around to look, there He was... Our Triune God had been running to me the whole time. Just like Him, isn't it? Relentless redemptive desire for His children.

Melanie Singleton said...

"Relentless redemptive desire for His children"...beautiful Jeremy. He chases us. Thank you for commenting. So thankful for that redemption in our lives. We all have beautiful stories to share.

Rachelle Chase said...

glad I stumbled across your blog :)

Melanie Singleton said...

Me too Rachelle! Thank you for commenting. 💜

Jamie said...

Hi, there! I just discovered your blog and I'm really excited to get to know you. You should consider joining our semimonthly Adoption Talk Link Up - it's for anyone involved in the adoption triad or foster care. You can get the details at http://starfishconfidential.com/2015/01/adoption-talk-link-up.html