Sunday, May 24, 2015

When I Want to Give Up

Written by Anna Brooke Cosper

My heart is heavy as I write. My soul is weary. My body tired. Sometimes I want to quit. To give up. To ignore the world around me. To shut out the children so desperately crying out, because it’s so hard to love them as they kick and scream and rage against us. It’s so much easier to give up. Just say you tried, but failed. Right? 

Oh how lucky we are that God did not give up on us. God did not ignore us. God did not shut us out. When we were crying out, when we kicked and screamed and raged against God’s will, He never gave up on us. Yet, how quick we are to give up on them. 

I just want it all to go away, so their lives can be normal. But their life will never be normal. They will always fear being taken away from what they have known. They will always fear the unknown. Their trauma, their scars, their wounds will never go away. 

They have to live with it 
for the rest of their lives. 

It was so easy to ignore them before. To pretend that they didn’t exist. 

But now they live beside me. Now they eat with me and sit next to me during church. Now it is our job to pick up the shattered pieces of their little lives and try to piece them back together. Because now they call me sister

I hear people say they simply couldn’t do what we do, because they just couldn’t love them and have them leave. If we don’t love them who will? We don’t have enough people in this world willing to get hurt, willing to give their hearts away for these kids. We have too many who give up, who ignore them, who leave this job to others, and who don’t recognize these children as children, but as cases… just another story on the news. It’s just easier to ignore it. 

But once you hold that crying child in your arms, once you love them only to have them taken away, once you feel that pain, that aching pain in your heart, longing to be comforted, you finally understand why you don’t give up. You know that if you give up, that’s one more child without love. One more child having to wonder if her cries are heard in the raging waters of this world. If they matter. If they mean anything. 

So, that is why I don’t give up. that is why I push forward in this unending journey. That is why I write for these children, who desperately need a voice. Because God didn’t give up on me. God didn’t ignore me. He did not shut me out, so I have no right to give up on them, to ignore them, to shut them out.

Because I am loved, I am to love them also.  

Anna Brooke is a 13-year old homeschooler who lives in north Alabama with her family. She has five older siblings, and (currently) two younger foster siblings. Her dream has always been to be a stay-at-home mom. She started blogging at the age of 12, out of a desire to be a voice for children in care. She is a sinner saved by grace and considers it a great gift to be able to love children in foster care, and to be their sister. Anna Brooke is a simple girl who enjoys reading, cooking, gardening, and working with her hands. She loves her family and she loves her Lord. She is a girl desperate for Jesus and loves sharing him with the foster children within her home. Please visit Anna Brooke's blog and encourage her as she shares her heart with the world.

No comments: