Friday, February 13, 2015

When?



The challenge from Kate's blog is to write for 5 minutes flat with no editing. The word today is WHEN. 


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So, I haven’t participated in Five Minute Friday for a while.

Today I knew I must.  My heart needed to engage with a week that’s felt heavy, like lead weighing upon my shoulders. Pressing me down.

When our life is not as expected.  When we get the phone call bearing bad news.  When

That’s been my week.  Two phone calls with information to make my heart skip a beat.

In the flinging of dinner onto plates and the hammering constant of the woodpecker on the side of the house, me banging the walls, children asking how and why and when.

I’m sent over the edge. Undone.

The pecking of that blasted fellow on the side of my house is like the pecking of worry.  And I'm reminded that's not the core of who I am.

The crinkled, delicate page from Matthew speaks loud 6:25-27: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Paul learned it.  That contentment.  And I bury hands deep in pockets and refuse to let go.  To surrender.

When

I want control.  I want ease. I want peace.  And I will bow low and claw and scrape the dishes of discontent and drag my family with me.

When…

That’s what I beg for..contentment.

When Father?

The answer comes clear as glass.  Liquid lines my cheeks, and I know.

He’s teaching me now.  To unclench fists. Live for now. Upturn hands.  Surrender to His furious love. 


 










  

1 comment:

Karrilee Aggett said...

Oh friend... this is beautiful! Praying with you for that peace... contending for that contentment... unclinching and lifting hands up and open, ready to be filled!